My real fears

We live in a crazy world and horrible things happen all the time. There is so much to be afraid of. Fears are completely natural to have and we need to accept them more in this crazy world. So here I am, sharing my real fears and feeling completely naked.

I fear not being accepted.

It might sound ridiculous but I fear that no one will like me and talk to me. I fear that people might say something bad behind my back if I do certain things. Luckily, it isn’t my biggest fear and I’m working on it. But working on such a fundamental fear in a society where everyone talks and judges is like swimming for the first time.

I fear being betrayed by my loved ones. 

I got my heart broken once and I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love again – and I’m not sure if I want to. I loved a guy. I loved him so much I’d do anything for him. He doubted me and broke my heart. I felt betrayed. That was the first time I experienced facing this fear I’d always had. Now I just can’t help but wonder who the next friend or family member will make me feel that way again.

I fear to fail. 

This is a very common fear, I believe. I fear spending all my time on something that won’t work. I fear getting rejected.

But it all fits into this one big fear…

I fear not being good enough. 

I don’t know what ‘good enough’ is because it’s an uncountable size… but I fear not being it. Not fitting in, not being pretty, not being accepted, not being enough for my loved ones…

The great news is: I am less afraid of not being good enough than I was last year. Or more likely, I’ve worked so much on improving my self-esteem that I in some situations can tell myself that I am good enough.

Because I am. No one judges me like I do. But I am good enough… and I am more than that. I am the best I could possibly be.

I want you to know that if you walk around with the same fears as I have, you are not alone. Sadly, those fears are very normal to have in this very superficial and materialistic world. The only way to get rid of them is by challenging them, getting out of your comfort zone and trusting that you are good enough. Always.

Stay happy, stay beautiful
– Ellie xoxo

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